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pet related: I feel conflicted

I posted this on the baby board as well.

We have three cats, two of which I have had for 11 years. The boy cat spends most of his time out side and is well behaved when he is indoors. The girl cat, his sister has had an on going problem with going to the bathroom in their boxes. We've tried everything, three boxes, medication, moving the boxes, giving them a privacy screen. You name it we've tried. Since she is not using the box she goes other places, any soft surfaces, like rugs, towels, the doges beds anything on the ground that is soft.
DH and I have talked at length about what to do because we are at our wits end with cleaning up and trying to prevent this behavior. As of late she has not being taking care of her self. I've bathed her to keep her clean, which is no pick nic. Her chest fur is matted and her feet seem dirty to me. The vet can not pin point anything that is wrong with her.
So tomorrow my MIL is calling our local humane society shelter, which is a no kill shelter, to see if they have any openings. I just can't bring myself to do it and MIL is moving and can not take her two cats with her.
Please don't judge, we just don't know what to do anymore I am conflicted because I love this cat dearly, she was my mom's favorite and though it may sound weird but she kind of started going down hill after my mom passed away.
I know i have tried everything in my power to help her but it's just not working yet at the same time I feel bad no awful about giving her away. I know they will find a home for her and she will be better off because they won't be as frustrated with her as we are.
I just keep crying when I think about not having her around any more.
Sorry this is so long, thank you if you made it this far. And thank you for letting me get this out.

TTC #1 w/ PCOS since 7/08
7 cycles of Clomid, 2 SA's, 1 HSG
BFP 8/09! M/C 10/09
Back on the TTC Roller Coaster since 2/10
Metformin and TI is current TTC plan
BFP 2/21/11!!!

The Super Secret Blog (at least from MIL)

Re: pet related: I feel conflicted

  • Tilden just went through a similar situation.  Sounds like she needs to be converted to an outdoor cat or put down.  I would not push her off to a shelter.  Who is going to take this cat that won't clean itself and goes to the bathroom everywhere?  I'm sorry you have to go through this.  Depressed animals are very hard to deal with. 
  • I am conflicted because I love this cat dearly, she was my mom's favorite and though it may sound weird but she kind of started going down hill after my mom passed away.

    It's not weird at all, your cat is probably grieving for your mom.  Four years ago when my older cat died, my younger one stopped eating for about three weeks.

    We had to put our cat down about ten days ago for much the same reason, except for the fact that she had diabetes and would not have been adoptable.  If I had had any hope that she would find a better situation, I would have surrendered her in a minute.  At least by giving her to a shelter where you know they will keep her until she finds a loving home, you're giving her a new lease on life, so to speak, which we couldn't do with Autumn.

    It's a very hard decision, I wish you the best of luck.  If you'd like to talk more offline, my email is karen8330 at yahoo.

  • I am so sorry.


    I went through a similar problem. For one cat, the solution was throwing him outside. For the other cat, it was simply that she HATED going in a covered box. As soon as we took the cover off, she was happy. Oh, and she really likes the box to be cleaned out frequently.

     Good luck with whatever you do. 

  • Have you taken her to the vet?!  A lot of urinary problems are simple health related issues.
  • Our cat did that for a while too. Fortunately, when we made her a partial outdoor cat (at least half of the day and night she is outside) this problem stopped. I would not feel bad about letting her go. Your only real option is to put her outside (at least most of the time) or put her down.

    Let her go knowing someone will love her just like you and your mother did when she was younger. It is time to move on. Just like people have to let their kids go you may need to let her go too.

    Good luck!

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