Relationships

Opinions please!!!!

Dear ladies, please help?I need your advice and or opinions?I?ve been married 8 months now and we?ve had our ups and downs?However, yesterday when I came home, I decided to do the laundry so I grabbed both our dirty clothes, and as I was putting them into the washer, out pops a woman?s g-string and it was most certainly NOTmine?..It caught me by surprise but since we live with his parents and his aunt just recently stayed at our house I figured maybe it was hers and she just accidentally put it in his hamper?Yes, she?s a 60 year old woman, but I figured, maybe she still wears these, and honestly I just kinda said Ewwww and laughed it off?When my husband came home I decided to joke around with him and accused him of finding a g-string in his hamper?I was totally joking, but then he broke out in tears and confessed to me that he wears them when he does his thing, you know?I felt like someone just took out the rug from underneath me, or someone just socker punched me in the stomach?And honestly, I wanted to throw up?Never in a million years would I have ever imagined this?After he told me this, I really haven?t said one word to him, because I don?t know what to think.  I feel like I don?t know who I married at all.  He was really embarrassed and said he doesn?t wear them all the time.  He wears them just to do that?.Is this normal?? Should I be running for the hills????

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Re: Opinions please!!!!

  • image Regm:

    confessed to me that he wears them when he does his thing Is this normal?? Should I be running for the hills????

    What is his thing? Is he Bi??

    I don't think it's normal, but hey some people have their weird habits.  If he never told you 'til now that you found a g-string, I would deff be running.

    btw, what color were they?

  • Best case scenario: he's a little kinky.  Worst case scenario:  he's a very creative liar.  Personally, I can live with one of those two options.  Whether or not you can is up to you.
    This is my siggy.
  • What is his "thing"? Is he wearing them? Masturbating into them? I think I'd be OK with either of those.

    My first thought was that he's screwing around and the panties were his hor's. Obviously, that is NOT OK.

    But it's up to you whether you can tolerate his "thing".

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  • To clarify, yes he says he wears them when he "masturbates"
  • Hmm.. my first thought is they are another woman's and he did an elaborate cover story about that.

    He wears them while masturbating? Can he fit said g-string on his body or is this a woman's small size. I'd want to see it to believe it.

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • Two friends were changing in the men's locker room after a round of golf.  The first guy turns to the second guy and say, "Fred, when did you start wearing lady's pantyhose?" The second friend says, "Ever since my wife found them in the glove compartment of my truck."

     It's an old joke.

    If gets a little thrill from wearing panties for sexual stimulation, who cares?  I'd read-up on cross dressing, it does't mean he's gay and it doesn't mean he's a perve.  It's just underwear. 

    It's quite common.  Have some fun with it.  You guys are married, if you can't loosen-up with each other, what's the point?   

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Two friends were changing in the men's locker room after a round of golf.  The first guy turns to the second guy and say, "Fred, when did you start wearing lady's pantyhose?" The second friend says, "Ever since my wife found them in the glove compartment of my truck."

    HA!  And yes, this is exactly what I think.  He's probably cheating.

    image
  • My gut told me not to believ this and that he is cheating, but then I asked him oh yeah, where did you get those panties....And he showed me a bag filled with new women's panties....Honestly, this is more disturbing to me than cheating...I kinda wished he would have just said, yes I'm cheating.....I don't know if I can get over this....It is just toooo weird...
  • There's no law that says that you have to get over this.

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • More disturbing than cheating?! That's just nuts. So he likes to yank it into women's underwear, what's the big deal? You seem really uptight. 
  • if that is the case then you got yourself a very kinky man.

    It is weird that he would be into that, but only becuase we don't understand it.  I will suggest to talk to him about it and/or go to counsleing together and see if you can come to amends with this.  Everyone has a habit, but if this habit is keeping you from seeing the person you married then maybe it would be in your best interest to leave.

     

  • You know I'm not married but reading this makes me think of my ex husband or any guy I've dated and if they were like this how would I handle it. My thoughts are I'd bust out laughing and make him model it for me. He broke out in tears because he's embarrassed by this and you're not talking to him. That's making this WAY worse for him. This is your husband and this is a part of who he is. The way you're acting is probably the reason he never clued you in on it. Think about it....men have to be men and this is what helps him get off and now you're punishing him pretty much for it. I don't think that's right. If it bothers you that much, make him wash that kind of underwear himself. I think not talking to him and thinking this is worse then cheating is insane and not needed.

  • You know, swtangela has a point.  Let's say you share a kink of yours with your H, the person you're supposed to be most intimate with and he reacts the way you reacted.  He freaks out, doesn't talk to you, and proclaims it worse than cheating.  How would that make you feel? 

    I really feel for your H.  I think you've done some damage here - more than you realize.  

    This is my siggy.
  • In the event that he is not lying to you, I highly recommend reading this book.

    That said, I think maybe you should dig a little deeper, and start a real conversation here. Good luck. 

  • Honestly, it would freak me out too.  I *think* I'd be able to handle it, but if you can't, that's ok.

    How are things otherwise?  You are still living with his parents- is he still spending all his time playing video games with his cousin? 

  • image Regm:
    My gut told me not to believ this and that he is cheating, but then I asked him oh yeah, where did you get those panties....And he showed me a bag filled with new women's panties....Honestly, this is more disturbing to me than cheating...I kinda wished he would have just said, yes I'm cheating.....I don't know if I can get over this....It is just toooo weird...

    Oh, please you'd rather have him stick his prick into someone else, then wear a g string?

    You are definitely overreacting with that statement. I can see you being upset but that statement is just pushing your self over into the drama queen fence for me.

    image
    Spring Break 2013
  • image Regm:
    To clarify, yes he says he wears them when he "masturbates"

     Why is masturbates in quotes? Does he not actually masturbate or something?  

    image
  • image magsugar13:

    image Regm:
    My gut told me not to believ this and that he is cheating, but then I asked him oh yeah, where did you get those panties....And he showed me a bag filled with new women's panties....Honestly, this is more disturbing to me than cheating...I kinda wished he would have just said, yes I'm cheating.....I don't know if I can get over this....It is just toooo weird...

    Oh, please you'd rather have him stick his prick into someone else, then wear a g string?

    You are definitely overreacting with that statement. I can see you being upset but that statement is just pushing your self over into the drama queen fence for me.

    Ditto. On the kinky scale of 1 being missionary only vaginal/penis intercourse and 10 being stuff even HBO won't show in a documentary, I give this a 4.  Read up on it, it's not really out there. And your reaction probably caused more damage than necessary. 

    You may not like it and prefer he not share this with you in the future. That is understandable.  On the plus side, the extra support will prevent his balls from getting saggy in old age!

  • wow, aren't you sweet. he confesses a "shameful" secret to his wife, who is supposed to love him, and you talk about running for the hills. 

    normal and sexual proclivities shouldn't be mentioned in the same sentence.  almost everyone has something "freaky" that they are into.  and as long as it's legal and involves consenting adults, who cares?

    if this isn't mud, you need to apologize to your H for judging him and not being supportive.

     

    of course, this only applies if he's really being honest with you and isn't just trying to cover up an affair. 

  • Well, you said that he has a bag full of them so that veto's the cheating thought... were they all the same size?

    Can he actually fit into the underware while masturbating... or does he hold them/or smell them while masturbating?

    I think you need to find a way to incorporate his 'fetish' with your sex life, if you want ot make your relationship work. Maybe you could wear the panty's? Don't make him feel ashamed for what his fetish is! I feel bad just hearing that he was crying while coming out about it. If my DH did that, I think I would just hug him and tell him I love him, and that it's no big deal.

    Seriously, it's not like you're finding out that he's gay or has been having an affair.

  • Well, since he provided proof with the new bag of panties, perhaps he isn't lying.

    It could definitely be worse....relax and to each their own. 

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  • My opinion,

    I would rather that this be a sex fetish of his, instead of them being gifts for his girlfriend.

    I really hope he's not lying to you about it.

  • image baconsmom:

    image Regm:
    To clarify, yes he says he wears them when he "masturbates"

     Why is masturbates in quotes? Does he not actually masturbate or something?  

    I'm guessing the OP isn't cool with masturbation period. In her original post she could only call it "doing his thing, you know." Again, I'm going with uptight. 

  • image smock.smock:
    image baconsmom:

    image Regm:
    To clarify, yes he says he wears them when he "masturbates"

     Why is masturbates in quotes? Does he not actually masturbate or something?  

    I'm guessing the OP isn't cool with masturbation period. In her original post she could only call it "doing his thing, you know." Again, I'm going with uptight

    and/or immature, either one sounds about right.

  • I think you're okay there.  Sounds like it's just a fetish of his.  I'm just surprised that you never knew about it earlier in the relationship.  How long were you dating and engaged before you got married?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image smock.smock:
    image baconsmom:

    image Regm:
    To clarify, yes he says he wears them when he "masturbates"

     Why is masturbates in quotes? Does he not actually masturbate or something?  

    I'm guessing the OP isn't cool with masturbation period. In her original post she could only call it "doing his thing, you know." Again, I'm going with uptight. 

     

     

     

    OP, I do hope you know that cross dressing does not indicate that your husband is gay or bisexual.  It's just a quirk,

    i  suggest you get over it

  • image Regm:
    To clarify, yes he says he wears them when he "masturbates"

    If this is true and he's not cheating on you, I would have no issue with this if it were my DH 

    Natural m/c @ 6 weeks - 3/1/2013 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • It's a fetish.  A lot more men than you'd think like to wear panties.  I'd either get over the shock and go with it or I'd get myself some counseling.  While you might be troubled by it, it's really nothing for your husband to be ashamed of or need therapy over.
  • image BowiesInSpace:

    You know, swtangela has a point.  Let's say you share a kink of yours with your H, the person you're supposed to be most intimate with and he reacts the way you reacted.  He freaks out, doesn't talk to you, and proclaims it worse than cheating.  How would that make you feel? 

    I really feel for your H.  I think you've done some damage here - more than you realize.  

    Exactly.  This is nothing to ruin a marriage over.

  • yeah...you need to calm down, lady.  i'm assuming that he wears them because if they're tight they stimulate his taint while he masturbates?  makes sense to me....

    the only issue i have with this situation is how you reacted.  I agree with what that other woman said - how embarrassed he must be!  As his wife, you need to be sensitive about this stuff!  You will immasculate him and drive him away if you stick your nose up and act like he's a freak for shariing something kinky he likes to do during his "me-time".  I honestly don't see the difference in him doing that and a woman using a vibrator or anal beads. 

    I can TOTALLY understand your initial reaction - i mean, that's a shocker.  But try to recover from this and just talk to him about it.  Maybe you can incorporate this into your lovelife somehow.  Maybe not that panties - but now that you know he likes pressure down there during orgasm, you can help him out with that.  Hopefully this can turn out to be a good thing.....as long as he never finds out about this thread.  :)

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