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Bridal Shower - RSVP Etiquette

I am hosting a bridal shower for my sister the end of next month.  I have invited about 30 people, a mix of my sisters friends and family.  I sent out the invites the end of April as I know the summer fills up and I wanted to let people know in advance about the shower.  I gave them until June 1 to RSVP.  Now I don't know what I need to do about those who still haven't RSVP'd, do I contact them to follow up or figure that since they didn't notify me that they aren't coming?  I knew that some wouldn't come because they live out of state and are only flying in for the wedding, but I would still like to for sure if they are/aren't coming. 
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Bridal Shower - RSVP Etiquette

  • I see phone calls in your future.  I would start calling folks at the end of next week.  GL!

  • Yep, I'm afraid you'll have to get dialing.

    I do not understand why people are incapable of RSVPing.  I sent out evites (on FB for super reply ease!) for my dinner party last week and only two of 11 people responded!   Seriously?  How hard is it to click yes?  Grrr.

  • If you gave them until June 1st, I would wait until after June 1st to start calling.
    You can always send out a nice little reminder email though, reminding people that their RSVP is due by June 1st.
  • It's not June 1 yet so hold up a little.  Also, why such an early RSVP?  I get sending the invites early, but RSVPing several weeks early?
  • I can't stand when people don't RSVP.  How hard is it to send an email or call?  I usually plan for the amount of people who RSVP and a few extras.  I think to show up to an event without rsvping is the height of rudeness.
  • image 6fsn:
    It's not June 1 yet so hold up a little.  Also, why such an early RSVP?  I get sending the invites early, but RSVPing several weeks early?

    I don't think asking people to commit to something 4 weeks in advance is out of line.  

    I do agree.  Wait until the 1st, and then send out an email to those who haven't responded and/or start making calls.

    The bottom line is that people are rude when it comes to RSVPing. 

  • 4 weeks early for a shower is too long.  My wedding RSVP wasn't that early.  Shoot my bridal and baby shower invites weren't even sent that early. 
  • Thanks for the advice.  I'm a planner (it's what I do for a living) and I'm going to be traveling on business for 12 days right before the shower (June 26th), so I was trying to nail down numbers before I even leave for my trip so I could order food and get almost all the planning done.  I figure if you know that you for sure aren't coming why would you not RSVP and tell me that rather than assume I know.  Are people waiting until the last minute to see if anything better comes up?

     I'm not planning to start following up until after June 1st, but I wanted to get opinions of what the proper course of action is. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Honestly, yes I bet they are waiting to see what other invites come in.  June is a major month for weddings and graduation.  They may be waiting to see if something more important to them is happening on that day. 

    I still say 3+ weeks is a long time before an event to respond. 

  • For the Love of G-D.  Why don't people RSVP???  They must have no idea how hard it is to host these type of things.  I also feel that the decision to attend a Bridal Shower, Dinner Party etc. shouldn't be based on "only if something more important isn't happening that day".  If your event is that unimportant to them - then they should RSVP "No Thanks". 

    I guess you have to wait until June 2nd - and then gently remind them.  You may also get a flurry of calls/notes on May 31st.   

    Good Luck and don't let it get you down. :)

  • image 6fsn:

    Honestly, yes I bet they are waiting to see what other invites come in.  June is a major month for weddings and graduation.  They may be waiting to see if something more important to them is happening on that day. 

    I still say 3+ weeks is a long time before an event to respond. 

    That is horribly, horribly rude. I told DH that I'm going to make a flow chart for RSVP responses: Do you want to go? yes or no. Are you available yes or no? Can you secure a baby sitter, if appropriate? yes or no. etc. 

  • Call it rude if you want, but I'm sure it's true for a lot of people.  If I know my niece is graduating and I'm waiting for my brother to pin down an exact time for a party I'm going to wait to RSVP a baby shower for a friend.  My niece is more important, but I may try to swing both.

  • I had the exact same issue back in March. I was planning a bridal shower and had difficulty getting people to respond. A lot never called. What I did was the ones that did not call me, I just planned on them coming. That way you will have enough food in case they show. It's better to have too much food than not enough. I know, it's SO rude though for people not to RSVP at all. Made me angry too. Hope it went well for you!
    BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Anniversary
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