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My husband has become a stranger....
I am not sure if posting something on here will help, but I have read other peoples posts and really love seeing how people on here genuinely seem to care about each other. So....here goes. My husband and I have had a very tough time with our marriage. We were engaged for a year before our wedding, married 5 months and he left me. It was a huge shock for me, and one of the worst times in my life. We had money problems (he's a spender, I'm a saver), he is very dependent on his parents, and they get too involved in our marriage..most is done behind my back. We were separated from Oct 08 to March 09, then my husband left me again in July 09' and while separated it was horrible, we barely talked, he didnt help financially. I have children from a previous marriage and he nor his parents had any contact with them for the majority of our separation. We have been back together now since October 09 and things have been going okay. We went to a marriage retreat and it was great, and we both felt so recharged after going. I felt really secure in the fact that we can save our marriage. But recently, he has started to change again, into someone this time that is cold, and uncaring at times when speaking to me, he doesnt feel that it is his responsibility to care for me. He says I'm a grown woman and can care for myself. I have a full time job, have been going to nursing school full time on top of my job and raising two children. I have been caring for myself, and my children for 7 years. I know I can care for myself, but I have always felt that my partner in life would help me shoulder the burdens of life. And dont get me wrong, at times he does, but there are times when he leaves me alone, to fend for myself, and doesnt seem to mind when I get overwhelmed. Just says I make a big deal of nothing, and that he gets tired of me being crabby, or me crying, etc... I pay all the household bills, he pays only his bills, cell phone, credit cards, etc... I love my husband and I dont want to get divorced, but he has changed and has become someone who doesnt see me and the kids as his responsibility and doesnt act as if we are a priority in his life, or a part of any of his decision making. I dont know what to do, and not sure where to turn. We have tried therapy, groups, and a retreat and we always end up right back where we were when we started, and its because he decides he wants to do things his way...not our way. And says he is not changing, this is who he is, and if I dont like it..too bad. I have put a lot into this marriage, and its sad that its not give and take. I give and he takes.