Relationships

How do your boyfriend's parents introduce you?

Tonight my boyfriend and I went out to dinner with my step-dad.  My step-dad ran into a friend of his and introduced me and my boyfriend, except he kind of stumbled over how to introduce him and said something to the effect of "this is her ummm... errrrr...  friend."  This is not the first time this has happened as my boyfriend's parents have done the exact same thing!  As a matter of fact, I've been introduced as everything except his girlfriend.  Wife?  Yes.  Fiance?  Yes. Friend?  sure.  Girlfriend?  No.  We've been together for 4 years now, so I find this behavior from his parents and my parents rather odd.  Has anyone else experienced this?   

Re: How do your boyfriend's parents introduce you?

  • While H and I were dating MIL always introduced me as his friend. After we got engaged, she started referring to me as his girlfriend.

    Thankfully, after the wedding she started introducing me as his wife.

  • Really?? They always referred to me as his girlfriend and then when we were engaged, fiance.?
  • image LMS05:
    Really?? They always referred to me as his girlfriend and then when we were engaged, fiance.

    ditto this.

    I wouldnt be ok with someone im in a relationship with to call me his "friend"..

    But thats just me.

  • My mom and I talked about this once.  She always introduced my now DH as my "friend."  I asked her why and she said that "boyfriend" sounds so high school/college - ish and I was 28 years old when we started dating.  I agree with her, but "friend" sounds funny too.  I told her to just introduce him by his first name.  People can figure out who he is.
  • My parents always did this - until I was engaged.  It never bothered me or my boyfriends.... even the one I dated for 5 years!!
  • While we were just dating, my now lnlaws called me as a friend. Its just what they do. It never bothered me because we area also friends.
  • I get introduced as a friend and the same for my boyfriend.  There is only one person in our groups of friends and family that consistantly introduces me as his girlfriend (and that's his roommate).  However, after 4 years, I think it is a bit odd.  I've only been dating my bf for 3 months or so.  I think that is normal for family to not quite feel comfortable calling me his girlfriend.
  • Not totally related, but when my now DH first introduced me to his dad, he (according to him) stumbled between "This is E, she's my girl" and "This is E, she's a friend" and ended up with "This is E, she's a girl." Which means that now, 11 years later, his friends still call me by the nickname "Girl". Loverly.

    It's weird that they call you "a friend" but some parents are just strange like that. If it bothers you, just make a quick correction when you're introduced (just smile politely and say "girlfriend" as you're shaking hands) or make a light joke about it, like a not-so-aside whisper to your step-dad's friend of, "he doesn't know he's my boyfriend." People will get the hint about what you prefer to be called soon enough.

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  • Before the engagement, we were always introduced as each other's boyfriend or girlfriend.  That's what we were, after all. 

    Being introduced as a "friend" seems weird and immature, and like someone is embarrassed by the relationship.  I would find it really odd to be introduced to someone and their "friend" when it was clearly obvious that they were involved in a romantic relationship with each other. 

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  • my parents called DH my "boyfriend".  His parents always called me his "fianc?e" (it's a cultural thing for his family - they don't "date" and they didn't "get" that we were not engaged right off the bat).  Now my parents say he's my husband and his family says I'm his wife.  The fianc?e thing was a bit weird for me until we were engaged (obviously) but otherwise, no drama.
  • image BangsMcCoy:

    While H and I were dating MIL always introduced me as his friend. After we got engaged, she started referring to me as his girlfriend.

    Thankfully, after the wedding she started introducing me as his wife.

    My husband when we were dating did this as well.  But my family considered him just a friend as well.  I was fine with it.  Orginally we were good friends before we got engaged I never thought anything of it.  

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  • My parents always introduced us the "correct" way: "This is Cassi's boyfriend/fiance/husband, David."

    But his Mom skipped the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing: "This is Cassi, she is with David." Then it became "This is Cassi, David's fiance." and now finally it's "This is David's wife, Cassi."

     

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  • DH's mom always introduced me as her daughter, which drives me nuts.  She never called me his girlfriend or his FI or his wife, but her daughter.

    His dad introduces me as his wife, my parents do the same. 

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  • They introduced me as his girlfriend. When we got engaged it was fiance or even daughter in law. We have a good relationship though :)
  • I've always been referred to as my boyfriend's girlfriend but perhaps you can speak privately to your boyfriend about this if it bothers you and he can communicate to his parents.
  • Thanks for the input ladies!  I'm somewhat surprised that so many of you have experienced something similar.  I wouldn't say I'm all that bothered by being called his "friend" or vice versa, I just think it's strange.  Once you hit the four year mark of a relationship and you're both living together, I think you're past the "friends"  stage, but maybe it just has different meanings for different people?  And oddly enough, being called his fiance or wife freaks me out way more than friend, so I just deal with it!  hehe!  Smile
  • DH's mom would always call me his girlfriend, even after we were engaged.  DH's dad would call me his girlfriend when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend, and after we were engaged he would sometimes call me girlfriend, sometimes fiance.  My parents always called DH what he was at the time - boyfriend, finacee, husband.
  • I don't remember LOL. But I think I preferred friend - I agree with the mom who thinks that " boyfriend" and "girlfriend" sounds like high school.
  • I don't know why this is, but as I'm recalling it, I think whenever we were being introduced when young children were around (family parties, etc.) someone would say, "This is Mr. G, Ginger's friend," or "This is Ginger, Mr. G.'s friend." I remember being little and having the same thing done around me- even if I knew darn well that my neighbor was dating the guy, he was always introduced to me as her "friend".  Around just adults, I think it was always boyfriend/ girlfriend, the nice girl he's dating, the young man she's seeing, etc.  I couldn't begin to explain to you why, I have no idea.

    After we were engaged, always "fiance(e)" or "future DIL/ SonIL." After married, always as husband and wife.  

  • I think a huge part of it is that bf/gf sounds very young, at least to me. Plus, in this day and age many people never actually define themselves as BF/GF. I know DH and I never had that actual conversation. Yes, we would call each other that to our friends and introduce each other as that, but its just not a title many people now a days view as necessary/important. They know what their relationship is and don't need the title.
  • MIL introduces me as her daughter-in-law, her newest daughter or my son's wife

    FIL introduces me as my beautiful daughter-in-law (rolls eyes), my son's wife or by my name  

  • If my DH wasn't around, I was always introduced to my MIL's friends as her new daughter, even while DH and I were only dating. My parents lived pretty far away and she wanted to make sure I felt like her family was my family and I appreciated the attempt. That is not something we do in my family, but it felt nice to be included. When I was DH's GF, she called me that as well. Once we got engaged, I was his FI. Now, obviously, I'm his wife.

    We didn't have to go through this with my parents. The first time they met DH, we were already engaged and they just introduced him as their up and coming SIL. Being 2,000 miles away simplified that whole deal.

    My grandmother still calls DH my friend. It drives me crazy. She's still upset that we lived together before we were married and I think this is her way with dealing with it. I don't talk to her very often, so I just let it go.

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  • image LMS05:
    Really?? They always referred to me as his girlfriend and then when we were engaged, fiance.

     Same here.  Now wife.

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  • Well my fiance mom introduce me as his girlfriend and future wife, my mom introduces him as my fiance...lol
  • MIL never takes the initiative to introduce anyone to anyone else, so if you are somewhere you don't know people, you are on your own. So I always used "I'm (Sweet), and I'm with (Mr Sweet)" when we were dating. When we got engaged it was "I'm (Mr. Sweet)'s fiancee". Now it's (Mr. Sweet)'s wife.

    My parents introduced DH by his first name until we were married, now he's (first name), Sweet's husband.

  • Now that you mention it...  I do recall a pause during each introduction by both sets of parents.  I will not call him anything than "boyfriend" because we are not married/engaged. 

    What is amusing is to listen to SO's step-mom remember the "relationship" status for us and SO's brother and fiance.  She stumbles along and gives the wrong names/relationships.  SO's father said "its too confusing, just introduce yourself."  However even THAT caused embarassment because SO is a jr and people thought I was FIL's girlfriend.  Ick on so many levels. 

  • My soon to be MIL has always referred to me as her soon to be daughter in law even before we were engaged. We've never had wierd introduction issues. A few friends have gone through that and they say it's because thier parents feel childish calling them boyfriend/girlfriend; not because they don't like them or anything like that.
  • I think she just introduced me by my name.  It was always obvious H and I were together.,
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