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stressing out...vent...

I don't even know where to start, but my son has recently been diagnosed as failure to thrive (FTT) which makes me feel like the worst mother ever.  He has some developmental delays (he's 11 months old and not rolling or crawling) and we have Sooner Start come to our house to work with him.

 His pedi has been worried about his weight since he was born and we have to go for monthly weight checks.  Usually we just see the nurse, she weighs him and we go, but at his 10 month weight check the nurse said he had not gained enough and we had to come back at 11 months to see the dr.  he weighed 16 lbs 12 oz which is 2 oz less then at 10 months.  She said he is diagnosed at FTT and we had to do blood tests and we have to go see a GI.  The blood tests all came back normal or close to normal so we don't know what is going on.  They couldn't get us into the GI until June.

 The pedi told me to stop nursing, but I just don't feel like that is the answer.  I think she is missing something because it just seems like too many little things that could all add up to something bigger (he was born with 3 holes in the heart, one of the minor sutures in his skull closed prematurely, the developmental delays, he turned from head down to feet down at 35 weeks, he still spits up, he screams on his tummy, he acts like pooping is super painful even though they are soft, he doesn't mimic sounds and failed a hearing test on his right ear twice even though he passed it the second time)

 I just don't know what to do and I feel helpless.  I did schedule an appt with another pedi to get a second opinion, but I just don't know what to do.  I worked so hard when I was pg to make sure I would have a healthy baby and that is all I wanted and I just feel like I did something wrong and hurt him.  I don't know.  He is a really happy baby and laughs and plays and seems really to love life, but I just feel like something is not right.  My mommy instinct is telling me we are missing something.  I guess I just need to get my feeling out with some level of anonymity.

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Re: stressing out...vent...

  • I am so sorry that you are going through all of this and that Vaughn isn't doing well.  I am sure that nothing you did has anything to do with the problems he is having.  We all do the best we can for our children and I'm sure that you have been the best mom anyone could ask for (I know you seem like a great mom from the posts I have read from you).  DD was having some major emotional and behavioral problems last year and I remember that feeling of helplessness and wondering if it was somehow my fault.

     I hope your appointment with the second pedi goes well and that you figure out soon what's wrong with your little guy and how to get him healthy.  Hang in there and feel free to vent to us whenever you need to!  **hugs**

  • First of all, don't blame yourself! I am sure you feel helpless, and I know it must be hard not knowing what is wrong. Maybe you could call the GI's office and beg for an earlier appointment or call to ask about getting a last minute appointment that someone else has canceled. I have found that you have to push many doctor's offices to be taken seriously - you should be able to get in asap and if you can't, push to see another specialist who can see your son sooner. Good luck and major (((hugs)))!

  • oh honey! i am so sorry you are going through all of this... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't  blame yourself! mommy instincts are VERY important things... don't ignore them! and i think you are right about the breastfeeding... pedis are so quick to make you stop that any time something goes wrong... even if by some strange chance Vaughan isn't getting the right stuff from breastfeeding it's a security thing and some babies just need it longer (i know my Conley sure does... Keith was way over the breastfeeding stuff by now). and about the rolling over and crawling... i all that CAN be a sign of something going wrong but my BFs little boy is just two weeks younger than Keith and Keith started walking at 10 months and she freaked out with Jayden still wasn't crawling at a year... he just didn't care! They are both 18 months now and Jayden still doesn't walk quite as well as Keith and Keith is about twice Jayden's size but Jayden can talk up a storm and Keith says ZERO of the 15-20 words he "should" be saying by now... every kids is different and it's so easy for us moms to feel like we have failed when our kids don't measure up to a stupid chart! and you are not a big person... maybe Vaughan just isn't either!

    but to me it all goes back to your instinct don't let ANYBODY tell you you are wrong... i believe so strongly in that! if you think there is something wrong when they say there isn't push until you get an answer you are comfortable with... if they say there is something wrong but you believe you baby is just on his own growth chart and time table then tell them you think they are wrong and keep pushing for an answer that makes sense to you! i know that you are a great mom and that you have done everything you thought was best for that baby!

    i know i probably sound like a crazy... but i really do believe that mommies know!!! i truly believe God gave us that intuition!

    keep us up to date! 

  • I don't have any mommy advice to give you but I can't offer plenty of prayer for you and Vaughn. I hope that your 2nd opinion will shed more light onto the situation.
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  • I have no real advice myself as I'm no parent, but stick to your gut and don't give up until you find out what is truthfully wrong.  My nephew caught MRSA back in August when he was 7 months old.  He's always been a little guy, but he lost a lot of weight and still after 9 months hasn't put that weight back on.  I know its a little bit different, but his pedi is not concerned about at all about his weight.  He (the pedi) raised 7 healthy babies who were all underweight being breastfeed.  Don't give up!!
  • i'm so sorry your little guy has to go through this.  you're doing the right thing getting a second opinion if you're instincts tell you so, now be pushy and get an appointment fast!
  • OUKapOUKap member
    Eighth Anniversary

    I am not a parents but it sounds like you are doing the right thing getting that second opinion.

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