Dear Toaster Oven,
First, you suck. You burn my eggo waffles every freaking day no matter what setting I put you on! I have a baby now...I don't have time to watch you to make sure you don't burn my eggo. Also, you are the slowest of the slow. Why does it take you 6 minutes to toast an stupid english muffin??
I had such high hopes for you--you are from Williams-Sonoma, you have lots of fancy buttons, and you're all shiny and look so nice on my countertop. But you suck and if I still had the box and receipt, I'd send you back. You better shape up or I just might throw you out and replace you with something from Wal-Mart!
Your owner who is currently eating a burnt, blueberry eggo