I generally love Christmas, but I'm feeling very anti-holidays this year. I come from a small family (my mom and sister; my dad passed away years ago). DH has a larger family (mom, dad, stepmom and three siblings). In the past, we have bought gifts for every single person. For years though, I've suggested gift exchanges/Secret Santas with his dad/stepmom and siblings, or just the siblings as a way to lighten the load on the number of people we have to buy for, but every year my idea is turned down (often by just one or two people; some are okay with the idea).
This year, I am feeling like just throwing up my arms and saying no altogether. With DH's family, we trade lists and buy items off each list, but more and more it's feeling impersonal. No thought is really required and it's become a chore. I don't want to spend all the money on thoughtless gifts, and frankly I don't want to receive something that is just ticked off my own list.
I've thought of doing charity donations only (giving and requesting), but not sure how appropriate this is or how to go about it (do I tell everyone ahead of time or just go ahead and do it?). I've also considered (and DH is onboard) with just going away for the holidays and ignoring them completely.
Thoughts? Am I being too Scrooge-y? I just hate spending all that money on impersonal gifts and receiving things I would rather have just bought myself so I can get exactly what I want/need.