Relationships
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Friend who cancels all the time

I'm not sure what to do about this friend of mine. We're not terribly close, but close enough. However, she bails on me all the time. She gets really bad migraines - which I understand as I get them too (not as often though) - and regularly has to cancel plans due to a migraine. She works two jobs (1 FT and 1 PT) and is definitely a workaholic and is able to maintain two jobs and function without issue but when it comes to social outings, she is not someone you can depend on. I've always kind of known this, but I don't know if it's getting worse or if I'm just getting tired of it. The problem is, it's not like she is canceling for the sake of canceling - if I had a migraine, I wouldn't want to be going out either, but it's really hard to maintain a friendship with her when she's always bailing.

Her and I were supposed to go on a girls trip about 1.5 months ago that I had scheduled with a joint work trip, and she bailed at the very last minute (I was getting ready to leave the house). It put me in a terribly awkward situation where I had to go due to my work event, but didn't want to drive all the way by myself (about 7-8 hours) and left me scrambling to find someone else. I even offered to drive all the way there with her crashing in the back or reclining the passenger seat and sleeping the whole way, but to no avail.

Since then, we haven't seen each other. She was supposed to come over last night and once again cancelled. I don't know what to do - do I just cut ties? I really do wish her the best and she's a very sweet person, but I'm constantly being put in an awkward position or left without a "date." Part of me wonders if the migraines are just an excuse, although when we do get together, she's as happy and friendly as ever.

Re: Friend who cancels all the time

  • Here's your answer:

    She gets really bad migraines - which I understand as I get them too (not as often though) - and regularly has to cancel plans due to a migraine. She works two jobs (1 FT and 1 PT) and is definitely a workaholic and is able to maintain two jobs and function without issue but when it comes to social outings, she is not someone you can depend on

    I wouldn't pursue this so-called friendship. Who needs a friend who is not available?

    Notice she doesn't call in sick too often, eh?
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