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I'm not sure if this is the appropriate board for this question...
I received an invitation to a wedding shower in April for a friend of mine who's an old co-worker. The invitation was from her mom for a shower that's taking place about 3 weeks from now. Why I was struck by this is because I haven't received an invitation to the wedding that's taking place over Memorial Day weekend 2016, just about 2 months from now. I'm honestly not sure if I'm invited to the wedding since we're friends, but not as close as we were when we worked together. I've assumed I wasn't invited since weddings are super expensive and I'm not family or a lifelong friend (I'm perfectly fine with that.) I assumed the brides mom got my info from another party my friend hosted (she sells those diet drinks) and assumed those were also wedding guests.
Anyway long story short, I'm trying to make plans for Memorial Day weekend and I don't know if I'm invited to this wedding or not. Should I have an invitation by now? I don't want to be a jerk and say "hey am I invited?", in case I'm not, that's really putting the bride and groom on the spot. Assuming the shower is a surprise, I don't think the bride knows I got this shower invitation and I don't want to get her mom in trouble either. I'll send a gift either way. I'd say it's not a huge deal I can wait a little longer, but DH and I typically host a BBQ that weekend, and he works a lot of weekends so we don't have flexibility to move it around a wedding at the last minute. Also, if DH is working the day of the wedding he needs a lot of notice to try and get a trade since it's a holiday weekend and no one will want to trade. I could go alone, but I won't know anyone else. Should I just make plans and say I can't go if I do get a last minute invitation or wait in hopes that I am in fact invited and invitations are just slow to get out. Thanks for your advice.