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I need a little advice about how to respond to a very sensitive issue. I have two sons (15 and 17). Both my sons are very vulnerable: my eldest has Asperger syndrome and mental ill health and my youngest has a serious anxiety disorder. Currently, my youngest is educated at home on a very part time basis by a tutor provided by the local authority. Neither boy can fully access activities outside the home and family. This is something we are working towards with the help of the mental health services.
So, both boys spend a lot of time together. I have had to give up my work outside the home to look after my children, but I have been fortunate enough to acquire some work that I can carry out at home. Now, when I am occupied with work related activities, my youngest son will go into my eldest son's room. I thought this was just to chat and listen to music, but my eldest son has told me something that concerns me. He said that my youngest is very concerned about the way he is developing and he is convinced he is not maturing quickly enough. My eldest then added that his brother shows him his private part and asks my eldest to show his so they can compare. Then, he added that his brother has asked him to touch him on his private part to feel if it is 'normal'. I have set boundaries and explained to both boys that they should not reveal their private parts or close the bedroom door if they are both in the room. However, when I have come upstairs, they have both locked themselves in the bathroom.
My concern is: am I overreacting? Is this more or less normal sibling behaviour in boys this age? I am concerned because my eldest is very vulnerable and will do anything his brother asks him to do and both boys are completely socially isolated. My eldest says this is just stuff boys do, but those words sound more like his brother's. Can anyone advise?