Am 17 and my parents are currently separated, not divorced but they’ve been apart for months now. Basically my father moved to my grandma’s house after a fight with my mother and refused to come back since. My mother has been struggling to run the family, she’s having a hard time taking care of me and my 2 younger brothers and she’s really upset about the situation which causes her to put the pressure and stress on us. Family members from both sides told me that I should talk to my dad after they failed to talk some sense into him and although I know it’s the right thing to do I feel helpless. My father hasn’t always been the irresponsible jerk he is today, but his behavior changed over the years. He used to pay attention to his family and often spend quality time with us, but now he hardly cares about anyone anymore. The change started when he met this boy “I” around 8 or 7 years ago. My dad is obsessed with soccer and he has connections with managers and workers at the local team, so he often helped those he thought had potentials get in. “I” was one of those he decided to help, but instead of keeping things professional, he unintentionally intruded him into our lives. This boy is a around 10 years older than me, so at the time he was young and had many troubles that earned him my father’s sympathy. He had recently moved to our town, his parents were divorced and he had family issues so my dad decided to help. Long story short, his attempts to help him caused us a lot of trouble, as he became involved with this person’s life and family. Over the next 3 years, my parents fought every summer and each time they wanted a divorce but eventually got back together. The reasons for these fights were mainly because of this person and my father’s involvement with him. The last and more intense fight was because my mother suspected my father had an affair with “I”’s sister. Going through that mess exhausted us and my father promised to cut his relations to this person but his promises were never fulfilled. “I” is a reckless and self-destructive person who has proven to be a first class jerk, but my father considered him his own son. “I” became more successful and known thanks to my father’s efforts and constant support but his gratitude was shown through causing my dad financial and physical damage. My father had to sell his car and give the money to “I” to pay a loan and of course years passed and “I” never gave it back. And he had to travel with him to places and take care of all his legal matters which took its toll on his health since his no longer young and full of energy. So basically my father has been a toy in “I”’s hands and dedicated his time, effort and money to him which caused him to become financially unstable and psychologically strained. My mother often complained about it but she decided not to push it because this “I” person became some sort of limit and sacred line we should not cross. I myself chose to isolate myself in my little corner since my mother was putting all the frustration and anger on me and I couldn’t handle it. I looked poorly at both my parents and it took me time to realize that my dad was the one ruining us although I’ve never fully expressed it or admitted it. My father was someone I looked up to and considered as a smart and logical person who knows how to handle people and situations, but that image was slowly corrupted. Then the breaking point occurred a year ago, when my father started acting more isolated and careless than ever. 3 months later, he said he wanted to talk to me and he said he wanted to leave, continue his life elsewhere because he felt like he was an ineffective and unnecessary member in our family. He also told me he couldn’t stand my mother any longer, because she was too demanding and she often complained. I told him he was being unreasonable and he shouldn’t run away instead of trying to make things work but he was too desperate and told me I didn’t need him and I was fine on my own, we all were. I failed to convince him, and I kinda hated him for being a coward and hoped someday he’ll regret his decision and see how much he was wrong. Afterwards nothing changed, it was summer so my mother, brother and I spent a couple of weeks at my grandma’s who lived abroad. Then by the time school started my mother was getting sick of my father’s behavior, and the big fight happened. They were screaming at each other and I had to step between the two, my mother told my father to get out and he eventually obeyed. A lot of shit has happened afterwards, my mother blamed “I” and specifically his mother for what happened. She said the woman was a witch and she casted some sort of spell on my parents and she said it wasn’t the first time this happened. Of course I didn’t buy what she said but strange things has happened in mother’s attempt to get rid of the evil deed, and I honestly do partly blame “I” and his family for my parent’s quarrel not because of the black magic shit or whatever but because they all have bad intentions and that’s what I became most certain of. I won’t go into details of why because I’ve already said too much but they’re not good people who wants us any good and that’s a fact. My mother became like the devil to my father, the mere mention of her makes him angry and he refuses all reason when it comes to her subject. I haven’t tried to talk to him about our situation because I didn’t know what to say. Our relatives tried and failed and he himself doesn’t know why he feels this way and why he can’t go back home. Everything is so sudden and his behavior is truly confusing and irrational. He even went as far as telling our mother when this quarrel started “ tell them their father is dead” when she questioned his actions and used us against him. He never admitted the awful things he said to mum in front of me though, but I still felt hurt when she mentioned it. I know I have to talk to him because am doing the same thing as him by avoiding the problem but I honestly don’t know what to say. I’ve suggested therapy or consoling before and he mocked me so how can I be more help than a professional ? also ,I got used to him not being around and am the current situation only bothers my mother that much, but to me there’s no big difference. I know am not suppose to feel this way, but maybe am desperate too and maybe I’ve given up on him like he gave up on himself. I truly wish things were different but I don’t know how to change this, blaming him won’t do any good and saying I am in a desperate need for him to be around will be a lie, after all am 17 and no longer a little girl . I guess am just angry towards him although I don’t show it, and am traumatized by how irresponsible he is and how careless he’s being. What am I supposed to do? ( sorry for my English , am not a native speaker and sorry I had to write this much) thanks !