When I met my wife, she had a 6 year old son, he always was rude but I figured he'd grow out of it. Now she and I have a 4 year old of our own. My stepson is now 13. Step is disrespectful and rude to everyone, it would be typical teen behavior but he's smart and cuts to people, making fun of the fact I am stuck in my job, that my wife makes more than me and that I'm not athletic. He teases me everyday with how tall he's getting- he's nearly six foot, almost my height, but Im still much stockier than him... His father is largely absent, left when he was 2, he refuses to pay child support since I moved in though still sees his son every once in a while. My darling little boy is a tiny thing. He's a dramatic kid who is in his own little world a lot of the time, who likes to read- already catching sight words and reading a little at 4! The step says reading is "for fags" but is still somehow getting a 4.0 and plays lots of sports. My parents and my in laws love the step. So bright, so athletic, such a future. They think my boy is a wierdo, looks sick all the time, etc. Context to show where support would be..
The step has always pushed and shoved my son around, but lately he's been doing it a lot. My wife works lots of late nights, and the step will come out and look right at me, then shove his brother. Three weeks ago, he actually smacked my son in the back of the head! So I started snapping, ran with the fist raised... and saw me losing everything. Especially losing my son. So instead I grabbed his arm and yelled at him to never try that again.
Well, it left a bruise... and the wife told me she's afraid to leave us alone together and was going to reduce her hours to stay at home. But she loves her job and the extra work (teaches and the after hours is a drama program)... so I talked her out of it.And step called his dad... no idea what happened there though my wife spent an hour crying and pleading with him on the phone. Step has now been accidentally bumping into my son daily and openly makes fun of me and his mom. Today almost lost it again. We were getting ready to see in laws, and step just kicked his brother in the back, casually, while walking past him paying n the floor. I ran to my son and picked him up while he cried, and step just started laughing and said "God, you're pussies. I didn't even kick him that hard."
What do I do? It;s killing my wife and it;s killing me. I know that if I beat the step up, he'd leave my son alone. But if I lay a hand on him I'll lose my birth son, they'll take him from me I know it! I can't talk to him, I tried a few times. Most times he would roll his eyes and walk away. Last time, after the arm grabbing incident, he said, exactly this- "You're not my dad. So shut the fuck up, you don't get to talk to me. You're nothing around here." My wife isn't really doing anything either- her solution was to leave them alone together for an afternoon so we could go on a date! Oh, step laughed at that and pointed a fork at my son and said "Yeah, leave us here. We'll have lots of fun." She actually said I provoke him and that I'm not much of a role model- losing respect and love for her over this. And I can' count on support from anyone else in the family- they think step is so great and they hate my son. What can I do? I seriously am considering packing up my son and running away... but I'm so broke, and I know that they'd come after me and take him back. I just want to protect my boy.