Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email email@example.com.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Advise on Living situation
I am looking for advise on my living situation with my wife and little brother. 2 years ago my wife and i let my 15 yo brother moving in with us in our 1 bedroom apartment. this was because our mother was having some legal and financial issues. and lost her house. (father is out of the picture). the conditions of him staying with us were that he attend school, pass his classes(not asking for A's just to pass), keep his room(the dinning room) clean. and vacuum once a week... this situation was only suppose to be temporary while our mom got back on her feet. but that never happened, mom went to prison for 2 years for some white color thing, and little brother got stuck with us.
now to the problem. 3 months in we realized that this wasn't going to work out. the entire summer he did nothing but sit in front his computer. then when school started his grades went straight to failing(well the classes that actually required work). his room has never been clean, and he has vacuumed maybe 10 times out of the 100 weeks. he ditches school when he can (there has been 19 days of school this trimester and he has missed 5). We've taken away all his stuff piece by piece, first computer, then play station/TV then ipad and phone.and when ever we are out for the day he will go in our room and take it back for the day. which forced us to buy locks for the bedroom door. In the past we used to give him rides to and from school everyday(2 blocks away). and now we don't do that for him and he hates us for it. in a way i kinda feel bad for him, i mean he was raised by a single mom that spoiled him like crazy. now shes out of the picture for awhile. and hes stuck the way he is, no structure, no discipline, no drive .
End result is that he is a very lazy kid with no drive that feels highly entitled and does nothing but take and take. me being the brother i can put up with it, im his brother, its kinda expected. however my wife has had enough, she's talking about moving out and/or staying at friends houses here and there just to avoid him. she insists that it feels like he's takes away her home and personal space.
He's 17, we are not his parents, we are not his guardians, his mother is in prison and father is unknown. we have tried all surrounding family and no one will take him. We tried to open a case with social services and they said they wouldn't do anything because "the mother set up a home for him"
So what our my options? any advise? should i just kick him out to live on the street? i would send him too boot camp but we aren't exactly rolling in money living in our 1 bedroom apt.