Sex & Romance
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Is it possible that I'm incapable of orgasm?

I'm a 23-year-old, hetero, cis female and I think maybe I'm physically incapable of orgasming. I enjoy being touched and touching my boyfriend, and I enjoy sex, but whenever I seem to be building towards a "peak," it's like pleasure slips away from me before I can reach it and I'm left feeling very dissatisfied. It doesn't seem to matter what position we're in, what toys we use, if I'm with my boyfriend or just touching myself, it's always the same. I am currently on hormonal birth control, which I know can cause problems with arousal, but I had this same problem for six years before I started the pill, when I would try masturbating and would end the night feeling even more sexually frustrated that I was when I started. Is there just something wrong with me physically? Am I just never going to reach that peak everybody's always talking about? 

Re: Is it possible that I'm incapable of orgasm?

  • Raens said:
    I'm a 23-year-old, hetero, cis female and I think maybe I'm physically incapable of orgasming. I enjoy being touched and touching my boyfriend, and I enjoy sex, but whenever I seem to be building towards a "peak," it's like pleasure slips away from me before I can reach it and I'm left feeling very dissatisfied. It doesn't seem to matter what position we're in, what toys we use, if I'm with my boyfriend or just touching myself, it's always the same. I am currently on hormonal birth control, which I know can cause problems with arousal, but I had this same problem for six years before I started the pill, when I would try masturbating and would end the night feeling even more sexually frustrated that I was when I started. Is there just something wrong with me physically? Am I just never going to reach that peak everybody's always talking about? 
    Do you masturbate?

    I suggest you start on your own. You do not mention whether or not you do but I am guessing you do not.

    Something's happening where you're not letting yourself "go" so that you can have your orgasm. I don't know if it's that you are distacted or you think there's something dirty about an orgasm or what it is --- I think a good idea would be for you to speak to a sex therapist and get his or her input.

    Cisgender?

    I had to look tht one up. How about we all say "we are who we are" and skip all of these fancy titles?? I will probably be run out of town by the 2 or 3 people who are here but hey...whatever.
  • I actually mentioned masturbation twice, when I said "It doesn't seem to matter...if I'm with my boyfriend or just touching myself" and when I said, "I had this same problem for six years before I started the pill, when I would try masturbating and would end the night feeling even more sexually frustrated that I was when I started." I "started on my own" about 11 years ago and still have never gotten anywhere. As for using the term cisgender, I wanted to make it clear that I'm not struggling with the difficulties that would be caused by a transition or feeling trapped in the wrong body. 
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