So, I will give you a little back story. I met this guy in 2002. We started dating and life was good. He had 4 sisters (ages 6, 8, 9, 13) and a brother (age 12), and I loved all of them. I butted heads with his parents a lot, but I took them as my family. We got married in 2004, against his mothers wishes. We had two kids within the next 5 years. That was when we started having problems. He wasn't working and we argued all of the time. So, we separated in 2013.
Okay, now his 6 year old little sister, spent more time with me from the moment I started dating him than she did her own friends. It was the best of both worlds for me, I was like another parent, but I was also like a sister. Even when I left her brother, she was on my side, defending me to her family and such. I have tried really hard not to put her or my kids in the middle of any divorce battles, and I have succeeded. Well, from my side I have. I don't think anyone else has tried to put them in the middle either.
She is almost 21 now! I have seen this girl go through EVERYTHING. She is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way. The problem is she is getting married. I found out from her fiance when he was going to propose and was invited to the surprise proposal. It was amazing! She told me that I could plan the whole thing because she didn't know where to start. So, I started buying little things here and there, then she started making plans. She had told me that she wanted me to make the cupcakes (because she didn't want a cake). Then a week later she said that she only wanted me to help if I really wanted to. I kinda felt like she was going to tell me she didn't want me to make them, so I prepared myself for that blow.
A year after the proposal, she has gotten her dress, picked the venue, picked the colors, made all the big decisions, and is even going to pick her wedding cake soon, all without me! She didn't even mention that these things were taking place. I found out on Facebook. I still haven't seen her wedding dress. Not only is she not including me in her big day, she has told me that I don't need to be there until the wedding starts. So, I won't get to help her get ready or help decorate or anything.
I don't really talk to any of my ex inlaws (other than her). If I see them, we are cordial to one another. They come to my kids birthday parties, and I make sure that the other little kids in the family get to see my kids, without hesitation.
I know this is her big day and she has told me that she just wants everyone to be there to enjoy themselves, but she knows I am the kind of person that enjoys helping. I just feel like I am losing her. How do I deal with this? We always joked that she was my practice for dealing with things before my kids grew up, but if my kids are going to do this when they get married, I don't want them to grow up anymore! Please help me! I am just feeling like I am losing my best friend or one of my kids and I can't stand it!