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go get her or not?

Traveling utility worker here. Sept of last yr the company put a female cowrker as my roomate. Reasons;im 15 yrs her senior, respectful,was married 17 yrs,she was not comfortable with current roomate, company decided it would a good fit that we were both focused on making money while on the road.. Ok here it goes. 1st few days didnt say much to each other, just the cordual gdmorning have a good day normal stuff. 3rd day she invited me to eat with her n our boss cuz they usually cook in his room. Fine i did no big deal, since im the quiet type still didnt say much to each other. We really clicked,,we both knew it. Just how looked at each other same sense of humor etc...she would go out with usually the boss to lunch but always bring me somethng back. We took care of eachother from the get go.we went siteseeing n a couple other places b4 a week had passed. Ive always been very shy with women which i told her, so we decided to go have a couple drinks. That nite i awkwardly leaned in 4 a kiss which went terribly wrong,we both laughed it off. Even after that felt extremely comfortable around each other. After work next day i walked in to a hotel room transformed to a home(best as possible),amazing how homely she made it feel. For the next 2 weeks we bacame best friends together as much as possible,textng if not together. Gettng to know eachothers little in and outs. Although not sleeping together playng house. Well not exactly true we were sleeping together after the drinkng nite. Sex only twice. Wasnt a big part of our compatability. Now the downfall;i stayed away one day to get truck fixed while she was cookng at bosses room. Got a text askng if i was ok since i wasnt around all day. I said yes just had somethings to do . She replied "it doesnt matter to me one way or the other if ur here or not" i replied "it matters to me". From then on everything changed. We didnt talk or laugh like usual, seemed like she always wanted to b somewhwre else when we were together.little snyd comments would pop up from her. When around others we acted like strangers.from day 1 we decided to keep our buisiness to ourselves ao nobody knew of our relatiinship at all, nobody. We had talked about me coming home with her on thanksgiving, that was not mentioned again, on and sleepjng in same bed. Everything that was so comfirtable now was extremely streesful just to b around eachother. Her job was ending in couple days so was makng plans to go home. 2 nites b4 she left she went and hung out at coworkers room till 5am. Yes i was upset and let her know,not in a jealous way just not happy was gone till 5. Next nite did the same thing. We argued, yelling told her get her stuff n go home. She was leavng next day anyway so that worked out ok. She .was cryng upset didnt underatand what she did wrong.maybe i was upset over nothing. After work that day she loaded her car said goodby to people then came to room say gdbye to me. Asked if i was coming to her hometow. I said if u invite me. YesShe replied i have to work things out my sister(whom she was stayng with) and her daughters dad. Yes she gas a 1 yr old. .even after the arguing and awarkness we both felt togetherness. Facebook is how we decided to communicate. I have a friend in her home town so i posted that i was coming to c him soon. Then she would post a pic that sayed feeling excited, looking for houses to rent. Posted pics with her kid that i would comment on. Always have a certain kind of hidden communication. I texted her bout 2 weeks later said im done trevling ready to plant my feet. She posted finally found a home for both of us. This was kinda tricky cuz she had her kid in the pic . But the 1st line was towrds me so usually the last line is also. Anyways i didnt go for xmas. Got a text xmqs day where r u what r doing? After that no facebook communiction at all, no posts, nothin.my questions; does she want me to go get here? Is she playng games? Why did she stay out last 2 nites,b4 she left? I have no idea what women want! Is it to late since no FB communicae? Help plz asap. I was goin to jump in the car n go tomrrow.

Re: go get her or not?

  • If you move to her town to be with her, you should get your own place. With her having a 1 year old, even though the child is still so young, you need to move slowly. You need to have a traditional dating situation and not just go immediately into the family mode with you taking care of her and her child. How old is this person? A lot of her behavior could be based on her age and trying to figure out what she still wants in live.

  • autobahn1 said:
    Traveling utility worker here. Sept of last yr the company put a female cowrker as my roomate. Reasons;im 15 yrs her senior, respectful,was married 17 yrs,she was not comfortable with current roomate, company decided it would a good fit that we were both focused on making money while on the road.. Ok here it goes. 1st few days didnt say much to each other, just the cordual gdmorning have a good day normal stuff. 3rd day she invited me to eat with her n our boss cuz they usually cook in his room. Fine i did no big deal, since im the quiet type still didnt say much to each other. We really clicked,,we both knew it. Just how looked at each other same sense of humor etc...she would go out with usually the boss to lunch but always bring me somethng back. We took care of eachother from the get go.we went siteseeing n a couple other places b4 a week had passed. Ive always been very shy with women which i told her, so we decided to go have a couple drinks. That nite i awkwardly leaned in 4 a kiss which went terribly wrong,we both laughed it off. Even after that felt extremely comfortable around each other. After work next day i walked in to a hotel room transformed to a home(best as possible),amazing how homely she made it feel. For the next 2 weeks we bacame best friends together as much as possible,textng if not together. Gettng to know eachothers little in and outs. Although not sleeping together playng house. Well not exactly true we were sleeping together after the drinkng nite. Sex only twice. Wasnt a big part of our compatability. Now the downfall;i stayed away one day to get truck fixed while she was cookng at bosses room. Got a text askng if i was ok since i wasnt around all day. I said yes just had somethings to do . She replied "it doesnt matter to me one way or the other if ur here or not" i replied "it matters to me". From then on everything changed. We didnt talk or laugh like usual, seemed like she always wanted to b somewhwre else when we were together.little snyd comments would pop up from her. When around others we acted like strangers.from day 1 we decided to keep our buisiness to ourselves ao nobody knew of our relatiinship at all, nobody. We had talked about me coming home with her on thanksgiving, that was not mentioned again, on and sleepjng in same bed. Everything that was so comfirtable now was extremely streesful just to b around eachother. Her job was ending in couple days so was makng plans to go home. 2 nites b4 she left she went and hung out at coworkers room till 5am. Yes i was upset and let her know,not in a jealous way just not happy was gone till 5. Next nite did the same thing. We argued, yelling told her get her stuff n go home. She was leavng next day anyway so that worked out ok. She .was cryng upset didnt underatand what she did wrong.maybe i was upset over nothing. After work that day she loaded her car said goodby to people then came to room say gdbye to me. Asked if i was coming to her hometow. I said if u invite me. YesShe replied i have to work things out my sister(whom she was stayng with) and her daughters dad. Yes she gas a 1 yr old. .even after the arguing and awarkness we both felt togetherness. Facebook is how we decided to communicate. I have a friend in her home town so i posted that i was coming to c him soon. Then she would post a pic that sayed feeling excited, looking for houses to rent. Posted pics with her kid that i would comment on. Always have a certain kind of hidden communication. I texted her bout 2 weeks later said im done trevling ready to plant my feet. She posted finally found a home for both of us. This was kinda tricky cuz she had her kid in the pic . But the 1st line was towrds me so usually the last line is also. Anyways i didnt go for xmas. Got a text xmqs day where r u what r doing? After that no facebook communiction at all, no posts, nothin.my questions; does she want me to go get here? Is she playng games? Why did she stay out last 2 nites,b4 she left? I have no idea what women want! Is it to late since no FB communicae? Help plz asap. I was goin to jump in the car n go tomrrow.
    This is a lot of junior high behavior.

    I vote that you cut her out of your life and get on with your life.

    You've had a work fling and nothing more....and I don't think fraternizing with a coworker is a good idea. it's always uncomfortable if you date somebody from your workplace and then you break up -- you will always see the person again, somewhere along the line....plus there is a little thing called sexual harassment. Lots of companies are stringent about that.


  • If you want to start a relationship with her, you need to have actual conversations about it. It cannot be subtext or hidden messages in facebook posts. Talk on the phone and define what your relationship is and find out what each of you want.

    Do not move in with her and her daughter. You have not dated or built a relationship yet, so you'd only be asking for trouble. Especially since you've already had so much drama with this relationship.

    Like you said, you two were "playing house". So before you jump in to a living arrangement or quit your job and move to a new city, you need to stop playing around. Life looks a lot different when it revolves around cleaning up after a child, daily stresses of bills and bad moods, and figuring out how to divide up chores and financial responsibilities.

    Be very cautious and make sure you are 100% sure of where you two stand. Know what she expects from a relationship and future and tell her what you expect and desire for the future. Do not leave any doubt that you're both looking for the same thing before you make any big life change.
  • What employer would put two people of the opposite sex together in a hotel room? This is just a disaster waiting to happen. MUD!
    Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
    "Don't marry a man unless you would be PROUD to have a son exactly like him." ~ Unknown
    simplyeliseshort+sassy
  • PnkBride said:
    What employer would put two people of the opposite sex together in a hotel room? This is just a disaster waiting to happen. MUD!

    And apparently with only one bed?  Yeeaaahhh.  No way, no how.  And I've booked a lot of travel for a lot of employees at a lot of different companies in my time.

    Apparently the OP mistook this forum for a Penthouse letter, lol.

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