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Husband didn't defend me in public. Do you think I have a reason to be upset?

My husband and I were at Costco the other day and it was very busy. A rude man came up behind me and asked me what line I was in. I told him what line I was in, and he proceeded to attempt to push me out of the way with his cart by slamming it into me and cutting in front of me. I pushed myself in front of his cart and called him an asshole for cutting in front of me. It wasn't rude on my part, I was just calling him what he was and trying to defend myself. Then the guy called me some pretty bad profanities and went into the lane next to us. He asked me to call him an asshole again and wait and see what happens, so I did. (I've never been one to stand by while someone is attacking me.) Then he started calling me a "little girl" and saying nasty things to me, and I told him I had plenty of things I could call him but I'm not going to because I'm a better person then him. He responded by asking my husband if he was married to me, and if so, he feels bad for my husband. MY HUSBAND JUST STOOD THERE! He didn't say a word! Not even when the guy was calling me names and ramming his cart into me! I was very hurt.

Should I be upset? Why wouldn't my husband defend me, especially when dealing with another man?

Re: Husband didn't defend me in public. Do you think I have a reason to be upset?

  • You called him an asshole and then you said you wouldn't call him plenty of things because you were a better person than him.

    Next time you get this type of activity in a public place like a store, call the manager. Let the manager tell that person what to do, not you.

    Or your husband --- wrong for either one of you to throw more gasoline onto the fire.


  • VORVOR
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    You seemed to be handling the situation perfectly fine yourself.  You needed your DH to jump in too? 

    Is this some chivalry thing you want?  Your MAN to defend you against another big bad MAN?

    I don't see why more fuel needed to be added to this fire by your DH yelling too.  Plus, plenty of people approach issues like this the opposite of you.  You feel the need to attack.  SOme people (perhaps your DH) feel that backing away from the issue is a good way to get people to chill out. 
    GilliCspockforprez
  • Nah, sounds like your husband has enough sense to know you don't engage crazy. You ignore it and move on.
    GilliCbabigrl87
  • HannahE18 said:
    My husband and I were at Costco the other day and it was very busy. A rude man came up behind me and asked me what line I was in. I told him what line I was in, and he proceeded to attempt to push me out of the way with his cart by slamming it into me and cutting in front of me. I pushed myself in front of his cart and called him an asshole for cutting in front of me. It wasn't rude on my part, I was just calling him what he was and trying to defend myself. Then the guy called me some pretty bad profanities and went into the lane next to us. He asked me to call him an asshole again and wait and see what happens, so I did. (I've never been one to stand by while someone is attacking me.) Then he started calling me a "little girl" and saying nasty things to me, and I told him I had plenty of things I could call him but I'm not going to because I'm a better person then him. He responded by asking my husband if he was married to me, and if so, he feels bad for my husband. MY HUSBAND JUST STOOD THERE! He didn't say a word! Not even when the guy was calling me names and ramming his cart into me! I was very hurt.

    Should I be upset? Why wouldn't my husband defend me, especially when dealing with another man?

    LOL.
    image
  • You can't handle yourself without help?  Seriously?
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
    image
  • Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing which is what you should have done.  Doing otherwise just made the situation worse.


    If you really felt the need to do something, I would have had the nearest cashier flag down a manager.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • You called him an asshole and then you said you wouldn't call him plenty of things because you were a better person than him.

    Next time you get this type of activity in a public place like a store, call the manager. Let the manager tell that person what to do, not you.

    Or your husband --- wrong for either one of you to throw more gasoline onto the fire.


    Ditto this.

    Additionally, making hotheaded comments to immature men when you are with your husband will only result in getting your husband in a fight that he doesn't want to have. People are crazy. Is it really worth it?
    short+sassy
  • I agree with the other PPs.  Your H wisely avoided escalating the situation.  You already defended and stood up for yourself.  You shouldn't have thrown out the last "a**hole", when it really was no longer necessary.  So the rude jerk responded in kind by trying to continually bait you.  Sounds like you and your H ignored him from then on, which was exactly the way to go.

    Who knows who this crazy person was and what he was capable of?  People have been shot and killed over stupider things.

    Now I have to share.  I was waiting in line at the Walmart Pharmacy a number of months ago.  I was finally next in line and no one was behind me.  But I had already been waiting 10 minutes.  A guy had the GALL to step in front of me, half turned and said, "Excuse me, but I'm on my lunch hour."  To which I replied in my bitchiest tone, but no yelling, "No, EXCUSE ME, but I've already been waiting for 10 minutes.  So get in line and wait your turn."  He looked at me with the most shocked expression and I swear his jaw was hanging on the ground.  But without another word, he got behind me.

    And, honestly, if I had just gotten into line myself and he had politely asked me if he could go ahead...rather than assuming...I probably would have been cool with that. 

    smetter04
  • I would've ignored the guy completely.  That usually makes them more angry any way!
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