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This is my first post- I will try to keep it short but I need advice, please!
My in-laws are living with us, which has been fine for the most part. The trouble is, I have asthma, and I have told my MIL several times that scented laundry detergents, some cleaners, potpourri, and all the smelly stuff really bothers my airways. Some cleaners candles are fine, but it just depends. We buy the kind of detergent that doesn't bother me, but my MIL uses heavily scented detergent, as well as putting potpourri in the living room. I'm not afraid to put my foot down, and my husband steps in and supports me, but for some reason this issue is just not being resolved. We haven't really had a "hard" discussion about it, just mentioning in passing what bothers me. I talked with her about it again today and she acted like I was making it up because I have stronger reactions to certain things and not to others. If only! I'm really dreading the winter, and being locked up with all this awful stuff. I would really like to have a more firm conversation about this with her- it's not too much to ask to breathe in your own house. She is easily hurt, so I was wondering what you think of this solution- if she reluctantly gets rid of the stuff, maybe a few days later I can give her a simmer pot and dried fruits and cinnamon sticks and things. I know for sure that doesn't bother me (I do it all the time on the stove), and I like scents just as much as anyone else. I am not wanting to hurt her, but I don't want to be sick all winter because of something that's really easy to fix. It's not so much the firm discussion part that I am having a problem with, it is making sure I do it in such a way that communicates that I don't want to break the relationship over it. I know her reaction is her own, but I find it tiring being "nice" when who knows if it will work anyway. What do you think?