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Jealous sister... jealous brother in law!!!
I am assuming this is jealousy because that is what others call it but whatever it is, it hurt so much. I am going to give the cliffnotes version here but basically i had a really long and tough time in my life fully of big downs and very few ups no matter how hard I worked or retained a positive outlook that things would get better. Eventually they did! The economy picked up, I landed an awesome job closer to family and within a few months met the man of my dreams and 2 years later happily married! My sister has been though some hard times too. During those times I was always there for her even though she always put on a mask that "everything is fine" and blaming bad choices on everyone else but her own bad choices. Even going as far as blaming our own mother even though our mother was always a rock of support and helped my sister through some really tough times. She even once said that "There is no such thing as family, just people you know" !!! After moving back to my home state, landing an awesome job and meeting the man of my dreams, my sister seemed less than enthused that I became engaged. My now husbands sister in law wanted to give me a wedding shower with my sister but my sister told her that she wanted to save the money and instead give a nice gift. (I did not ask for gifts at my wedding and instead asked for donations to my favorite charity.) She was the ONLY one who did not give to the charity; I did not even get a card from her! To make matters worse, my husbands brother in law said he was jealous of me because he felt like he had gone through a divorce because my husband was spending more time with me!!! During out dating and then engagement he would text every day things that you would expect from an ex - girlfriend. Things like I miss you, I love you. Any kind act I made to his family was met with an insult. He went as far as sending me and my husband horrible text messages calling me 'the dark side" because I stopped seeing them socially due to their (his and his wife's) treatment of me. They quite obviously had this idea that they could say what ever they wanted to me because i married into their family and had to put up with it. i did not put up with it. I never said anything mean, or took their bate to fight with them, but instead removed myself from their life. Thank God for my aunts, uncles and cousins on both sides. They mean more to me then they probably know. (I do not talk at all about the behavior of those i just mentioned as i do not want to tarnish the precious relationship I have with such negativity) Even though a family therapist once mentioned that walking away was the best thing in this situation, I sometimes wonder, no, I grasp at the idea that things might get better if I still included these people in my life. Or perhaps I am just wish making. I doubt if anyone has experienced such a situation, but in case someone out there has, what advice can you offer.