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Newlyweds, transitions and friends

I'm a newlywed, both of us are in our early 40's and it's a first marriage for both of us. We met and have literally never been apart since. I thought we were too old for our friends (long term, decades-type friends) to turn crazy, but guess not. DH is a bit more hurt than I am over some of the antics (and his truck is still in the shop from a "friend" borrowing it). Now that things are settling down, we'd like to socialize more and obviously need to meet some new people. I'm 5 months pregnant with our 1st and wanted to join a new mom/pregnancy group, but my 1st encounter was a disaster. I encountered a hippie, yoga group who was highly judgemental towards another mom who had a bottle of formula. My dr office didn't have any classes available that weren't a 45 min. drive, so I'm still looking for something closer. Did any of you guys experience this friend transition? How did you find new people? I'm assuming this will probably resolve itself in time, but I think it's time for us to get out there and in a position to meet new people. Thoughts? BTW, I work from home exclusively for an out of state company, so I'm already at a disadvantage wrt face-to-face contact. But I do have time during the day to go to a few stay-at-home mom activities during the day.

Re: Newlyweds, transitions and friends

  • Check out other classes for your baby like music classes, gym classes etc. Some you will have great experiences with, others will be a bomb. But I would recommend checking out a site called meetup.com. Ok, I know it sounds like a singles site, and there are some singles groups. But it's a great way to meet people. You go on, create a profile and click on what your interests are. For example, outdoors, knitting, wine, sci-fy movies, board games, the list goes on. Then they will show you all the different groups organized through meetup that have that common interest. So you can see when other group of knitters, yoga lovers, new parents, happy hour lovers, etc meet up and you can decide if you want to join them or not for the activity they have planned. It's a great way to meet new people that you have something in common with.

  • I'm a newlywed, both of us are in our early 40's and it's a first marriage for both of us. We met and have literally never been apart since. I thought we were too old for our friends (long term, decades-type friends) to turn crazy, but guess not. DH is a bit more hurt than I am over some of the antics (and his truck is still in the shop from a "friend" borrowing it). Now that things are settling down, we'd like to socialize more and obviously need to meet some new people. I'm 5 months pregnant with our 1st and wanted to join a new mom/pregnancy group, but my 1st encounter was a disaster. I encountered a hippie, yoga group who was highly judgemental towards another mom who had a bottle of formula. My dr office didn't have any classes available that weren't a 45 min. drive, so I'm still looking for something closer. Did any of you guys experience this friend transition? How did you find new people? I'm assuming this will probably resolve itself in time, but I think it's time for us to get out there and in a position to meet new people. Thoughts? BTW, I work from home exclusively for an out of state company, so I'm already at a disadvantage wrt face-to-face contact. But I do have time during the day to go to a few stay-at-home mom activities during the day.
    What I suggest:

    You and your H join a special interest group by yourselves --- he joins one of his own choice and you join one of your own choice --- and then find something to join that you can join together.

    That would be 3 groups: His, hers and "ours."

    The best way to make a friend:

    Through a common interest!

    There should be meet up pages for your local newspaper: What are your interests? FInd something to do/join based on that.

    There usually are oodles of tennis lessons, volleyball teams and other sports-based endeavors that are usually co-ed or you can sign up for lessons later on at a local club -- will come in handy for you after you have the kiddo.

    There are also volunteer endeavors, political groups that are local, choruses, community theatre groups, photography clubs, cancer fund raiser endeavors and more.

    Try joining a group like that; the people who join are usually "safe" and vouch-for able as far as friends go.
  • Have you tried finding moms groups in your town on FB? If your baby will be in group daycare, meeting parents there could also happen organically.
  • oh Facebook. Didn't think of looking for a mom group there. Good idea. We belong to a car club. Most of the activities, wine, cars, outdoors, sports are too difficult or inappropriate for a pregnant lady right now. DH is working 60 hr weeks and only gets Sunday off. We were invited to a cool event this weekend that has the blue Angels. I'm actually lucky, I live next to a park and downtown that's very dog friendly and walkable, so I do get out. It's funny, DH got a call from a friend (who ordered special food, then didn't show up to our wedding) asking him if he wanted to go on a dirt bike riding trip over T-giving. DH is a little surprised that his friends still think he's single. I also found some get-togethers at our library that look interesting. And I think I'll sign up for the date night cooking classes this winter when the weather gets too bad to be outside. I'm sure I'll find more stuff. Thanks ladies for the suggestions, I feel much more positive about transitioning into parenthood now :-)
  • Congrats on your pregnancy!  I just also wanted to give a shout-out because I was a first time bride at 38...though I had been together with my H for 13 years before that.

    With age comes wisdom...or at least that's the hope, lol.

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