This is my first post and may be TMI, but I'm in a real bind here. Hubs and I have been together 10 years, married 8, and for the most part we've enjoyed an active, healthy, and passionate sex life, even when I was pregnant with our 7 year old son. Two years ago, we started actively trying to have another child, and we have had no luck. I've been tracking ovulation, been through extensive testing, and had two early miscarriages. Doctors have been frustrating and have not diagnosed anything, even though I have a strong family history of endometriosis and have shown all the symptoms. I've been doing a lot of research into homeopathic and natural solutionsm including acupuncture. To put it mildly, sex is stressing me out. On top of that, hubs has a new, high-stress job and has been putting in long hours at work.
After a massive fight on Mothers' Day (hubs forgot), we've been tiptoeing around each other for a month. Things came to a head this past weekend, and we shared a lot of truths with each other. My husband dropped two bombs: One,he's not sure he wants another baby, as our son is at a really independent stage and he's not sure he wants to got through diapers, etcetera again (he is a GREAT, involved, dad). Two, he announced that he has realized he wants to be dominated by a woman and would like to explore BDSM, inlcuding going to kink and swingers clubs. We've always been very open to new ideas in regards to sex, but I'm just not in an emotional place where this is right for me (particularly since another baby is on the back burner). Hubs is basically demanding this as a condition to continue our relationship, and he has been very sexually aggressive this past week (everything seems to be about sex). We keep saying we are going to see a marriage counselor, but life keeps getting in the way. We love each other in a crazy passionate way and don't want to divorce, but right now we don't seem to be able to meet each others' needs.
Has anyone been through this? How did you make it work?