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This is probably not the right board, nor a big issue since my husband and I don't want kids...but I"m curious, what's the deal with the baby always having to have the husband's last name? Since more and more women are choosing to keep "their' name, or have children without getting married, shouldn't the ladies have a say in what name is given to their children? I can see the value in everyone having the same name, I"m not opposed to that, I guess I just have a really hard time with "hey mom, give everything up (job/your body/free time), raise the kid, but don't get the credit and attachment because the dad gets the name"
This came up this weekend at a party, my husband made a comment "we're not having kids because we can't agree on the last name", meaning I didn't change mine when we got married and I've always been clear that I want my name on there. He doesn't like hyphenated and doesn't "believe" in giving a child his or her mother's last name only, his name has to be on there. Our "compromise" has always been hyphenated, but we both think that's kind of a pain for the kid (hence I didn't even hyphenate mine to have a common name.) I guess I was just a bit offended, it almost came across as if giving my last name to a child would be so bad you'd rather not have one. We did talk about it later and he said he didn't mean it that way, but it hurts to think that would even be a reason to not have children when silly me, I thought it was things like not wanting a child period, different schedules, no close baby sitters (in laws an hour away.) In the past I have expressed my reasoning for giving my name to a child so it's not like this was a new idea.
If we ever ended up with a kid I guess I'd have to see if it was worth going to the mat for a hyphenated last name, I just don't think the mom's last name as the middle name is as good of a compromise. Anyway again it's a moot point, more of just a vent, but I'm curious to see if anyone else would be up for having their name if it was "socially acceptable"