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Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

EDIT: Not written up, just in trouble.

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Re: EDIT: Not written up, just in trouble.

  • I think your therapist is right about going back to school. It will help you to feel like you are working toward your future...even if it is one class at a time.

    As far as your boss, yep, she is batshit crazy. I reserved judgement a bit at first as sometimes we do need to look at our part in a situation. I speak from experience. I have certainly had issues at work in the past that I later realized were, at least partially if not completely, my fault. 

    Obviously this is not the case here. You have done all you can. This is past the point of a life lesson on how to deal with difficult people. It is time to go. I would gladly be a cashier at Walgreens before going through what you are. 

    Also, as pp said, another conversation with the higher boss can't hurt. Maybe he can tell her to cool her jets for a bit. At least long enough for you to find something else. So sorry you are dealing with this. 
  • I would love to be able to have an honest talk with the boss but I feel like that would be a poor choice in the event I can't get out in the very near future.

    I know that as soon as I sit down and reveal my issues to him that he will page her to come into the office to talk about it. Then she would either go straight on the offensive and make me look incompetent or she'd become passive aggressive and fake to make it look like I am exaggerating what she is doing.

    I have considered asking him first if it were possible to have a meeting with just the 2 of us privately but I have a high suspicion that he'd just relay every single word to her behind my back.

    Unless I could be certain that the meeting could be private and that it wouldn't escalate the situation then I would go for it. But with all the rejections I keep on getting for jobs I am doubtful if I will ever get out... a lot of people are apprehensive to take on an employee who appears to be job hopping. 
  • She also gave me a typical end to the week.

    Since I missed Tuesday I had made the personal choice to limit my 15 minute breaks to catch up on my work and help her out with something. I took 1 break Wednesday, 1 break Thursday and no break today.

    Today at the end of the day she gets her smug look on and says "You haven't been taking your breaks.... bad, bad, bad". It was in a light tone but I knew this is what she considers a "talking to". I tried to lightly respond that I simply didn't need a break and there was too much work to be done. So now I know I am in "trouble" for not taking breaks. Surely next week I'll be in trouble for taking too many or something.
  • You need to speak to HR ASAP and you need to document what she has been doing. It can be harassment.
    Also, never use company computers to look up non work related stuff (except your personal email, but even then I'd avoid that), even on break. I bring my tablet with me and use that on my breaks because everything you do on a work computer is works business too.
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