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Hey everyone, A few close friends and I were recently talking about the holidays. 2 friends of ours (a couple) share an apartment with a single friend of ours. Let's call him Larry. Larry is always generous as holidays, birthdays, and even brings souvenirs from vacations. I usually reciprocate, buying a gift for him at Christmas and birthdays, and if we take a special vacation, a souvenir. The 2 friends he lives with are the opposite. They bake cookies at the holidays, and usually give a tin. They might offset to buy dinner for your birthday (or they recently came to my DH's bday party with no card or gift). So as a group, we discussed that we were just going to bake cookies together and not exchange. I am happy to buy gifts for all of them, however, I chose to respect our agreement. Tonight, we gathered and the couple, as promised, did not bring gifts but did bring baking supplies and beverages, which I appreciated. Another couple, in from out of town, also brought baking supplies and they brought a small hostess gift, but presented it as a hostess gift, and it was a small token, but very kind. Then Larry came in with a gift for my husband, and two gifts for me. I was stunned. I thanked him graciously, not wanting to make a big deal out of it or seem ungrateful. I opened the gifts, genuinely thanked him and put them away. But naturally I had no gift to give. I want your opinions. I will likely see him or his roomies this week again. Do I run and buy a gift for him to reciprocate? Do I just send a heartfelt thank you note? I was so caught off-guard. Thanks everyone!
~CaraMia~ Married to my HS sweetheart since 7/2/10 Celebrating 10 years together 6/3/12! Anniversary

Re: Etiquette

  • Heartfelt thank you note would be my thought. Etiquette does not dictate tit for tat in gift giving.
  • Heartfelt thank you note would be my thought. Etiquette does not dictate tit for tat in gift giving.
    I agree.  And it sounds like he's a gift person - he likes to give them.  That's o.k.  He doesn't have to stop just because everyone else wants to stop.  BUT, he needs to do it konwing that it won't be reciprocated.  As long as he's o.k. with that... then all is good.
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