Since I have known my fiancé his mother dictates what gifts we buy for her or the grandchildren or his father. I have always thought its weird that she tells us "this year for christmas I want everyone to pitch in to pay for x (usually has us give her cash)" or she will call and say "for granddaughters xmas gift everyone is pitching in for x". They don't have a lot of money and like to give the grandchildren large gifts so she has everyone pitch in. I wouldn't mind but its usually more then we would spend on a child. I have never said no because I do not want to cause conflict. However this year we have a joint account, are paying for a wedding, and just bought a house. He has me do the shopping. I went out and bought the grandchildren gifts already. I was on the phone with her about something unrelated and she then told me we are pitching in for something. I told her that I had already purchased a gift when she said well this is what they want and we can't afford it so I told them we would all pitch in.
One gift we all pitched in for when she gave it to the child she states it was from her and her husband, my fiancé, and his brother. She left my name out of it. It was a 4 year olds birthday and not worth getting mad over.
I guess with this long story I am wondering how do I stop this for the future. My fiancé doesn't like change and won't want to deal with telling her no. Next time I would like to not have her even ask to pitch in. Maybe tell her before hand that I already got gifts so we are all set? She just guilts me into it by saying she can't afford it.