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What are your thoughts on...

Porn? A friend of mine keeps catching her H looking and she is insanely jealous and it bothers her and she considers it cheating. What do you think?

Re: What are your thoughts on...

  • Honestly, I know it's out there and I know H looks at it from time to time.  We've even watched it together.  I actually find it funny, so it's counter productive as I make fun of the cheesiness of it.  I don't think it's cheating.  Now if he was watching it 24/7  we'd be off to the therapist.
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  • I agree with @kushie77. It's out there and I know H has watched it nothing I can do about that. If it seems excessive then we may have a problem. Also if he's watching things that I find particularly strange like 2 guys or weird harmful fetishes then we could have a problem. Or if we are having problems or there is a reason why we can't have sex for a while and he's watching it then I would be bothered by it.
  • I definitely don't consider it cheating and am actually fine with it. I know H watches it. As long as it doesn't interfere with our sex life it's just fine with me. I'm also okay with him going to strip clubs as long as it's not a regular occurance. These things just don't bother me. I trust him and know who he's coming home to and growing old with, so he can look all he wants.

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  • My problems with porn is more the degrading of women more then "considering its cheating". I know my H had dirty magazines and although we've never talked about it, I'm willing to bet he's seen porn in the past...

    But I find it incredibly degrading to women, and puts pressure on women to behave a certain way or be "sexy enough" or that its the women place to be sexually attractive and if they get cheated on its because they didn't fulfill their guys needs. Not to mention most of the porn industry is NOT created by women who are savy businesswomen and saw an opportunity, but by men taking advantage of women by promising them fame and fortune to have sex on camera, and with the exception of a few producing agencies, many of the women you find in the porn industry are still not well paid, are at higher risk for disappearance, violence against women, std's and are forced to turn to street prostitution when they are no longer "needed". 

    I would be furious if I found H watching porn, but more because I believe him to be someone who respects women enough to not support an industry that is so degrading in my opinion....and he is well aware of that. 
  • I would honestly be disgusted if I knew my husband was looking at porn. I KNOW he has done it in the past and I'm over that. But I think he has grown up a lot and realized how it makes me feel. Call me insecure IDGAF but it makes me feel disgusting when I know my man is looking at it.

    If he is gonna do it I would rather never know and just hope he hides it well LOL Like today he took the day off of work to relax and the thought of him looking at porn crossed my mind and then the next second I didn't care. I would just rather not know if he is doing it. And yea if it was like an everyday occurrence I would probably flip and we would have a problem.


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  • I know h has looked at it and still does. I agree with the first few comments. I don't consider it cheating, and as long as it doesn't interfere with our sex life, I don't really care. H more looks at the amiture pictures on reddit/nsfw or the pictures of girls with their boobs hangin out on the chive.
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  • amcourt09 said:
    I have more of a problem with the fact that she keeps "catching" him. Meaning that he knows it bothers her but he keeps doing it anyway. That's more disrespectful to me than the fact that he's looking at it.

    That was exactly what I was going to say. Everyone is bound to have their own opinion- from finding it offensive (because they find it degrading or just plainly an offensive subject matter) to seeing it as cheating, to not caring, to enjoying with their partner. To me, it's a subject that you and your partner should discuss, and above all, respect each other's opinions of.

    I also think it's one thing to keep doing it, and another to be lying about it (which I am guessing is happening, since she is 'catching' him.)


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  • Porn doesn't bother me as long as he never chooses to watch it rather than have sex with me. That being said, we both watch porn, both individually and together, but only a few times a year.
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