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Re: J

  • Posts like yours break my heart. PTSD is an ugly awful bitch but it is never a reason to put up with mental abuse. Never. DH and I are dual status and both have our share of PTSD related issues. After his most previous deployment, it got rather ugly. To the point that I moved out because I wouldn't tolerate being someone's doormat. I highly suggest you leave. PTSD or not a short temper is never something you want to mess with especially with your son around.

    I'm surprised at the VA counselors reaction. You should go to the VA and speak with a patient advocate because it sounds to me like your husband isn't getting the care he should be. Is he medicated at all or just seeing a counselor? Have you looked into other local veteran organizations? Military One Source can be a great source, there's also the IAVA(Iraq & Afghanistan Veteran's of America) which helps vets meet other vets to help with service related issues. I think him getting a job would be a good thing, even if it was part time. Something to help get him get his rear in gear and feel like he has a real purpose can make a world of difference.

    I hope this gives you something to start with, I know how lost you can feel. Just know you're not alone and there are tons of people willing to help.
    BFP 6/9/2011, due Valentine's day 2012! M/C @ 6 weeks. Miss you sweet tart.

    Having a threesome with MeghanKG and NotQuiteBlushing. Best labor buddies EVAH!

    Can't wait to meet our son.....tator tot

  • I agree with BLT. There's not a day that goes by where he doesn't call you the worst possible name? Teach your son that's not acceptable by leaving. I'm not saying you can never work it out, but he needs help and he needs to be very committed to changing. For your son. You both lead by example in your family. What kind of man do you want your son to be?
    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • I agree with both of my friends above.  Another thing I would like to add is that I want to encourage you to seek counseling, as well.  There are doctors out there who specialize in counseling care givers of people who are suffering from PTSD.  Please find one.  Military One Source can help you with that.  You can also contact the VFW, the American Legion or the Military Order of the Purple Heart.  It may also help him to talk to other veterans who have been in or are in his shoes.  I agree with BLT when she says he needs to find a job.  Right now, part of his issue may be that he feels inadequate or emasculated.  He may feel like he has no purpose.  Honestly, your son may be better off, right now, in a day care than at home with your husband.  Find a day care you can trust.  
  • I agree with everyone above. I see you write these awful things that he does, quickly followed with, "..but the PTSD..." I'm sorry, that's NO excuse for him to treat you the way he does. None. Get some counseling for yourself, and if he will, get some counseling as a couple. If he refuses, then he's being pretty blatant about his level of commitment to making your marriage better.

    PTSD is not a free pass for abuse.
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