Trouble in Paradise
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
The other woman and I were pregnant at the same time
A year ago, my husband and I were in the middle of separating and living 1500 miles apart. I went to visit him to discuss things in person, and a couple of weeks later, found out I was pregnant. I was in grad school, but the baby would have been due a week after graduation. I didn't want to get back together with my husband just for this reason, and I was scared about being able to find a job and support myself and the child. I tried to talk to him about ways we could make it work, but he was adamant we terminate and flew to my city to take me to the doctor. The morning of the appointment, my phone was broken and I used his to get direction's to the office- he was in the shower so I snooped in his texts and realized his girlfriend was also pregnant. She had told him she was pregnant two days before I did, and he was planning to fly back home after our appointment and take her to the doctor two days later. She also had an abortion.
It's been exactly a year, and I've been in therapy, and we had our official divorce, but I think about this every day. If I could have afforded a child alone, I would have had the baby without hesitation (as it turns out, I still haven't found a job, four months after graduation, so perhaps it is for the best). His girlfriend doesn't know that I was also pregnant. Ex-husband and I barely speak, and he's been no support during this at all. He refuses to take responsibility and claims that "the universe meant for this to happen." I'm thinking of contacting the girlfriend (they're no longer dating), just to see if she wants to talk. Truly, I'm not angry with her at all- I'm just looking for someone who understands, and I also don't think it's fair to her that she doesn't have the full story.
Would love any advice, or words of wisdom or support.